this year, the 2♣️ in pluto and the A♦️ as my result card are guiding me through one of the most transformative chapters of my life.

the 2♣️ is forcing me to confront my fears around communication, connection, and being alone, while the A♦️ is teaching me how to value myself, embrace solitude, and rebuild my foundation from the ground up.

in this video, i share how these cards are showing up in my life—pushing me to heal my codependency, find strength in being alone, and redefine what it means to value myself. from letting my relationships take a backseat to focusing on personal growth, this journey is about transformation, rebirth, and learning to trust the process.

what it actually feels like to live my J♥ card

living as a J♥ feels like carrying a compass that’s always pointing toward love. not the easy, romantic kind, but the kind of love that asks you to show up fully, even when it’s uncomfortable. the kind that calls you to give, to heal, to create, and to pour into others. it’s beautiful, but it’s heavy too. because with love, there’s always sacrifice.

for me, the J♥ isn’t just a card. it’s a rhythm, a current that flows through everything i do. it’s why i feel this constant pull to be of service, to create spaces where people feel seen, heard, and cared for. but living this card also means learning how to balance that pull with boundaries, because without them, it’s too easy to give until there’s nothing left of me.

venus is where our relationships live. not just romantic relationships, but all the ways we connect, all the things that bring us pleasure and sweetness. it’s beauty, attraction, intimacy, and desire. it’s the way love makes us feel alive, the way it pulls us in, the way it softens the edges of life.

but venus is also capable of holding loss. because love don’t always stay. it shifts, it fades, it transforms. sometimes it deepens, but sometimes it disappears. and when a 9♠️ is sitting in venus, that loss ain’t just possible. it is inevitable.

9s are always spiritual cards. they are not just about endings, they are about surrender. they call us to let go and let God, to practice non-attachment, to release what we think we know about love and loss and come into a higher form of spiritual understanding. 9s show us that when we resist, we suffer. when we grasp, we create chaos. but when we surrender? when we trust? we allow ourselves to be transformed.

displacing the 9♦️ / navigating the 9♦️ challenging karma card

when you displace the 9 of diamonds, you are steppin into a year of completion, transition, and major shifts in money, material reality, and values. diamonds rule wealth, resources, and what we truly value. quite frankly, the 9 of diamonds means something in these areas is coming to an end.

this is not a time for holding on. it’s a time for letting go and leveling tf up. you might lose a job, shift the way you make money, or completely redefine your relationship with material success. maybe something you once valued no longer feels important, or you’re being asked to invest in something bigger than you.

if you try to grip tighter, expect resistance, expect chaos, expect to get dragged. expect to get your wig snatched!

when the king of spades shows up in pluto, he brings one of the most powerful transformations of a lifetime. this is a call to step into mastery, take full responsibility for your success and failures, and lead with wisdom and integrity. this energy ain’t easy. it requires discipline, focus, and a willingness to grow beyond your limits. the king of spades represents the highest level of mastery in the deck, and if he’s in your pluto position, you are being challenged to rise into your fullest potential.

some people will collapse under its weight, never recognizing its potential. others will fully embrace it, and some may waver between the two.

this transformation won’t happen overnight, but through commitment, perseverance, and self-mastery, you will unlock a new level of power in your life. below are affirmations to help you align with this journey, embrace your inner authority, and move through the challenges of the king of spades with grace and determination.

malik deshawn, my cardiology instructor told me plain as day, saturn relationships are best for apprenticeships, mentorships, and shit like that. he said he wouldn’t recommend getting into a romantic relationship with your saturn cards. and what the fuck did i do? i got into a relationship with someone who is my saturn card. why? because we have other connections, of course that are sexy and sweet. so that definitely lured me in. but here i am, in this resistant, restrictive, challenging fuckin relationship and i am learning a lot. so i’m gonna share some of my lessons with my people.

i am at a point right now where i can acknowledge that i have not fully accepted saturn’s influence in my life, and the resistance that i have is really creating turmoil and difficulty. to say it’s been challenging is an understatement. i’ma keep it real. i find myself navigating saturn’s lessons in multiple relationships, and it’s forcing me to confront aspects of myself that i’d rather avoid.

it’s the first day of scorpio season. i am called to reflect on the energies of the scorpio archetype in honor of a new season of the zodiac. scorpio brings with it deep transformation, power, and a relentless drive to uncover truth. this energy invites us to shed what no longer serves and dive into the mysteries of our inner world. whether it’s navigating change, embracing shadow work, or stepping into your personal power, scorpio season is here to help you transform. the ace of spades reminds me of scorpio very much.

last year, when i had the ace of spades in pluto, life didn’t pull any punches. pluto’s energy is intense—it’s about death, rebirth, and transformation, and the ace of spades doesn’t let you hide from that. the scorpio-like influence of that card brings everything to the surface, making you face the parts of yourself and your life that need to change, whether you’re ready for it or not.

i am who i am and you are who you are, right? so it is what it is, and it ain’t what it ain’t! that leaves us with two main options: either we keep it real about who we are, standing in this wild space of radical self-acceptance and authenticity, or we conform to some other way of being, stepping outside of alignment and betraying our own hearts, minds, bodies, and spirits.

now, i’ve done it—many times. sacrificing my own inner guidance to please some man, a friend, or a job that i thought was giving me the security i needed. but let me tell you right now, that didn’t get me too far.

so, i’m learnin to sit with the weight of another friendship that done slipped away, i'm reminded of the lessons the cards have taught me—especially them 9s, them deeply spiritual numbers that carry the wisdom of endings. i got two 9s in my life path, and the 9♠️that sits in my venus, influencing my relationships and the way i experience love and connection.

the nines in the deck are powerful teachers. they remind us that nothin in life is permanent, and that endings are not only inevitable but they are mos definitely necessary. the 9♠️ and the A♠️, are the two death cards that speak to loss and transformation, often through experiences that challenge us to let go, let God and step out into a new way of being. the ace is the beginning, and the 9 is the ending. the 9 is a number that asks us to trust that what is truly ours can never be taken away.

we do not become healers.

we came as healers.

we are.

some of us are still catching up to what we are.

we do not become storytellers.

we came as carriers of the stories we and our ancestors actually lived.

we are.

some of us are still catching up to what we are.

we do not become artists.

we came as artists.

we are.

some of us are still catching up to what we are.

we do not become writers.. dancers.. musicians.. helpers.. peacemakers.

we came as such.

we are.

some of us are still catching up to what we are.

we do not learn to love in this sense.

we came as love. we are love.

some of us are still catching up to who we truly are.

-dr. clarissa pinkola estes

one of the lessons of the 6♣️ is to learn when to use the tongue like a sword, and when to use it like a balm—to discern when words should cut through illusion and when they should heal wounds.

the 7♠ is a card of spiritual tests and surrender. its essence teaches us that what’s happening in the physical world is not always under our control, and that true growth comes from trusting the unseen. it’s a card of “letting go and letting God,” reminding us that sometimes the path forward requires us to release our attachment to the outcome and have faith in the divine plan. the 7♠ pushes us to surrender our need for certainty, to trust the process, and to believe that the universe is moving things on our behalf, even when we can’t see it. it’s the ultimate test of faith, where we learn that by releasing control, we create space for miracles.